"All we had was hope" : the story of 23 weeker twins

Huge thanks (and hugs) to this brave Mumma for sharing, especially when initially it was meant for my eyes only to give me hope ❤🙌

"I had a very easy 1st pregnancy. I fell pregnant after 1 month of trying. We were content with one for 3 years & then I had an overwhelming desire for just one more! We tried & tried. We never thought we’d struggle. But 1 year of trying turned into 2. We needed IVF to help us (but with no reason why). I underwent an egg retrieval. I then underwent multiple frozen transfers, 2 miscarriages & 1 ectopic pregnancy. We had one egg left. We took ages to decide what to do. Then, on a whim, I decided to have the last one implanted.

What happened after that is nothing short of 1000 miracles. I had a nightmare pregnancy having found out that my last egg had split in 2. My membranes ruptured around Twin 2 at 17 weeks. We were given a 5% survival rate & even then with severe disability. All we had was a wing & a prayer. We were told that we would lose the boys because the risk of infection was so great that there was no way we’d make it to 24 weeks which was considered minimum viable age for twins. I made it to 23 weeks exactly. At an ultrasound that day, my cervix was dilated to 9cm. I was hospitalized that evening (a Friday). What followed was meetings with doctors, neonatologists, the Director of Obstetrics, grief counselors etc & a decision whether to resuscitate, support or let the boys perish. We decided to take the ‘support’ therapy. I gave birth after a 2 hour labour.

Then came 108 days of backwards & forwards and hope & tears in the NICU. I won't go into detail, but there were days when the boys were at the maximum medical therapy they could receive & we only had hope left. I’d change everything if it meant the boys didn’t have to endure that hideous journey. I feel a massive amount of ‘survivor guilt’. I now become overwhelmed easily. I am tentative in decision-making. I’m a different person. I’m frustrated by myself. BUT, am I pleased I have the boys? ABSOLUTELY one million times over. I didn’t want two more kids. Even now I panic at the thought of the cost of air flights and school fees. But it really doesn’t matter. The boys have heightened the sense of ‘family’. Watching my eldest with the boys is amazing. She adores them. She protects them. She defends them. Having them has brought out her good points.

Don’t ever give up on what you want to achieve. I promise it will be worth it. Good things will happen"

 Premature BabyTwins

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