Amilia Love Cairns

Thankyou Stephanie for sharing your story so that others know they are not alone. You are a brave, inspirational Mumma and I send all my love and strength your way. Fly High Baby Amilia
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Amilia Love Cairns was stillborn on 14/1/17.

On Wednesday 11/1/17 we went in for our routine 20wk scan. Little miss decided to be stubborn & wouldn't move to the right position but after being at the scan for 4hrs the sonographer was concerned with several different things. Firstly Amilia was measuring 17wks not 20wks. There were also other issues regarding her heart rate & blood flow. We finally headed home after 6hrs of being at Benson's and were told the hospital will call me. We received that call & the Dr explained as best as they could what they believed the issues were. I had to go in for a blood test to rule out any infections in my body that may be hurting our little Amilia. We saw the Dr & they said they have sent on the results to Womens & Children's Hospital to get an emergency scan.

The following day Thursday 12/1/17 I still had no call to when they had booked me in for this emergency scan. I called several times throughout the day with no idea when it was booked in. At this time Thursday afternoon I had not felt any movements from Amilia since Wednesday at the scans. I was worried that something was wrong. I called the Lyell McEwin Hospital asking what to do...they said it's normal at this many weeks & not to worry so I tried to relax with my family. At 6pm Thursday I still had no idea when this emergency scan was to happen. I had to wait till Friday morning before I could call the scan place to find out an answer.

At 9.01am I Friday 13/1/17 I called the hospital & asked what was going on; I was really worried and scared by this point. I got an answer: your appointment is booked in for Tuesday & you will have a scan plus an amniotic fluid test. I asked why so far away, why can it not be done today? But apparently they only do that scan/test on Tuesdays. I then spoke to a midwife where I expressed my concerns of no movement, she suggested if I was that worried to come in. So after talking to my mum & husband we went in to see what was happening. This was the start of the end........

I was filling out my forms and went to hand them in but before I could even do that they asked me to come through rather promptly. Nick and I were nervous as hell. We even spoke about names on the way in, just in case. I sat on the bed and 2 nurses came in. One got the fetal doppler on my belly with nothing, no heartbeat. She tried again, at this moment I started crying; I knew our precious baby was gone. She did it a third time and uttered the words 'I'm sorry but your baby is gone'.........I screamed and cried at the same time. My heart was dead, my eyes were so filled with tears I couldn't see, my husband was crying and I couldn't help him. Our world was tipped upside down.

The hours after were full on. A scan needed to be done by a Dr to confirm our Amilia was gone...all that pain again. We then went back downstairs where we were asked if we wanted to go home or if we wanted to birth Amilia. I uttered "I want to hold her". So we were sent up to the birthing unit were the painful labour was induced. Yes I actually had to give birth like any normal pregnancy but to a lifeless little bubba. Just over 12hrs of painful contractions and labour on Saturday 14/1/17 at 8:00am we welcomed with heartbroken tears in our eyes our very tiny 205grams little Amilia Love Cairns. Perfect in every way possible. She was here in our arms; still, silent and lifeless. Shear heartbreak......

We got to spend the day with her taking photos, talking to her and she even got to meet some of her family and friends. I was constantly think I don't want to let her go but unfortunately with her ever-changing body we had too. Late that evening we got a call for a beautiful couple Kerri and James from Walk With Wings, who started the charity, and asked if we would like free castings made of our gorgeous little girls hands and feet. Well, I was gob smacked...most definitely. So at 9:00pm they came out and gave Nick and myself the most memorable gift we could have. I will forever be thankful to them both for giving us this gift. To then be told they would frame them too. Wow we were speechless.

The following day Sunday 15/1/17 I wanted to go home. I needed to leave or I was never going to leave Amilia at the hospital. So homeward bound we were. I knew we had so much to do as we had to organise Amilia's funeral. Our daughters funeral. That in itself was just a nightmare. But Nick and I came together to honour our little girl. On the 24/1/17 we laid to rest the most precious baby of all.

Always loved and never forgotten. Love you Amilia,

Love Mummy and Daddy.

 Infant Loss

If you wish to help families like Amilia's, please visit www.walkwithwings.com.au and contact Kerry to make a donation, every little bit counts

Walk with Wings

Disclaimer
These are the thoughts and opinions of Stephanie and do not in any way represent Miracle Mumma or it's affiliates

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