Miracle Mumma
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The anxious reality of a high-risk pregnancy
Looking back on my high-risk pregnancy with Jack, I'm not sure how I survived. Sounds dramatic, right? But honestly, I was drowning in a very raw and helpless fear each day. I was an anxious mess...desperately hoping for the best but constantly expecting the worse; a person I don't even recognise now. I remember everyone saying that I was so positive and carrying it so well, but on the inside, I was falling apart. -
Blood donors saved our sons lives
And as I sit here writing this with tears streaming down my face, surrounded by my two precious little NAIT miracles, it is not lost on me how our story could have been completely different. I want to say a personal thankyou to all those who donate blood, from the very bottom of my heart. None of this would have been possible if it weren’t for the generous and selfless donors who took their time to save a life – and not just any life, but our son’s lives. Our difficult journey has been made so much brighter by the goodness of people we have never met and we will forever be in their debt. You do not have to be rich to be generous. -
The Birth Story of Jack Henry
As usual, we don't like to do anything to plan! After being admitted on Tuesday 30th April with possible pre-eclampsia and threatened pre-term labour, Dr W decided he would administer steroids, order those precious platelets and monitor mine & baby's health, but bring delivery forward a week to the following Tuesday at 34+6 weeks regardless. We agreed that my body was telling us it was time and we had given our boy the best possible chance on the outside. At first, my body was cooperating...but slowly my blood levels showed developing pre-eclampsia & on Sunday night, I became symptomatic with headaches, abdo pain, high blood pressure & nose bleeds (not to mention those regular tightenings). The next morning (Monday) Dr W came to see me first thing & said that it was time. I thought he meant later that day but he meant NOW, and within minutes I was signing a consent and speaking to anaesthetics! I obviously went into a mad panic. This couldn't be happening again - Scott was at home an hour away with James. -
Baby Puggle’s Nursery Reveal: After Every Storm Comes a Rainbow...
I couldn’t choose just a few photos to share so a full blog it is! And after 3 years in the making (visualising and planning) it certainly deserves its own blog! I have always had a passion for interior decorating, mostly starting with a blank white/crisp canvas and turning it into my very own space. The plan was always a gender-neutral nursery despite us knowing we were having a boy, as I’ve never been one for bright blues or pinks, especially on walls. We were lucky that we were able to transition James into a big boy room about 6 months ago and keep most of the fittings (e.g. cot, dresser, shelves) in his nursery and simply change up the decor for baby #2. This time around we went with earthy tones and a ‘rainbow’ theme to represent our struggles & acknowledge our journey.
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NAIT Explained: The Reason Behind the Infusions
On day one when we visited James in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), the doctors explained he was born with a platelet level of 13, which is classed as ‘severe’. Platelets are a component of the blood essential for clotting, and normal levels are between 140 and 450. Low platelet levels obviously cause bleeding into tissues and subsequent bruising, with severe cases causing irreversible intracranial haemorrhage (bleeding on the brain), resulting in long-term disability or death. The medical staff were describing how each contraction I had would have been like a punch to our poor little man in the womb... -
And so it begins...
They measured my cervix and I could immediately see it was a concern. Dr M summed it up with 'it's definitely short for this gestation with beaking and sludge present'. He checked a few more times before he explained that he didn't think I needed to rush to hospital but he would speak to Dr Yoong immediately and that I should prepare for either progesterone or an urgent stitch. He then spent the next 15 minutes with me re-checking measurements, dopplers and the placenta. He explained I also have marginal cord insertion, which is when the umbilical cord attaches to the side of the placenta rather than the middle, causing reduced blood flow. Dr M said they don't usually see the effects of it this early, but it could explain why bubs was already measuring a bit small. -
"I'm not saying it's going to be easy, I'm saying it's going to be worth it"
This week we hit the 12-week mark which meant I had multiple appointments, and multiple opportunities to see our little bean bouncing about – and that it did! We have an active little one on our hands this time – it’s probably all that space it has in that big septum-less uterus…I’d be doing somersaults too! I thought this week was busy and tiring with 3 appointments in 4 days but man I was so not prepared for what’s ahead. All I can say is thank goodness for grandparents, coffee and a bloody big calendar! It just means that I have a lot to report in this blog, so feel free to fall asleep at any point! -
The 'High-Risk' Road to Come...Infusions, Scans & Another Pre-Term Delivery
Since announcing our baby news, I have had a lot of people wish us a healthy and long pregnancy and say, ‘at least the hardest part is over’. And while that is partly true, unfortunately our pregnancy will be high risk and filled with its own struggles. Most people assume this means we will be monitored closely for signs of premature birth with more frequent scans and cervical length checks...yes, my vagina should just set up its own display! However, given the surgical removal of my uterine septum which aimed to give our baby more room to grow, I am crossing everything (mostly my legs when they’re not spread for scans) that this has reduced our risk! The biggest concern is something completely unrelated to this which I will explain now, but will cause our baby to be born premature regardless… -
We finally did it! We made a baby!
So as most of you are aware, in June I decided to get a second opinion and as a result I had my third surgery in 13 months to improve my fertility and decrease our chances of premature birth – a hysteroscopic D&C and septum resection, a laparoscopic excision of endometriosis (which after two previous surgeries I didn’t even know I had), and dye studies. We were then told to wait 3 months to let my body heal and give us the best chances of conceiving our rainbow baby. While this whole experience seemed like another step backward (and it was), I truly believe it is the reason I am pregnant today. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that getting a second opinion and finding a doctor that I trust and who was willing to get to the root of our problems was imperative to our success. I mean, it’s amazing what can happen when endometriosis is properly diagnosed and removed, hey!? -
Update! Our Journey to Baby #2: You Matter
A week ago I had my appointment with my new fertility specialist at Repromed who had been recommended to me by a couple of friends. I have blogged in the past about my previous experience with Repromed being quite clinical and how I felt like a ‘number’, so going back there made me feel a little anxious. But to my surprise, I walked in there and felt somewhat comfortable. I nearly wrote ‘at home’, but that’s a bit of a stretch! In hindsight, I think my feelings associated with Repromed were more to do with my own anxieties rather than the care I received. Anyway, Dr Y called me through and the first thing he said was ‘sorry for keeping you waiting, I was reading your history and really wanted to understand your story before we talked’. Immediate ‘tick’, I liked this guy! And then he said ‘Wow you are so lucky to have James’. Two ticks, what a bloody legend! -
Opening up about loss: it takes a village
On Tuesday, as I drove down to have the ultrasound that I knew would change our future one way or the other, I was surprisingly confident. Yes I was terrified that our fate was already determined and there was nothing I could do to change it, but somewhere inside there was hope. Scott met me there and the first thing I noticed was the terror in his eyes. As we were sitting and waiting, he said “I hate this. I’ve never been excited for an ultrasound. Not once, not even with James. We have never had a good experience.” It tore me apart to think that we will never get to celebrate a pregnancy the way others do. We will never get to experience those exciting normality’s without being plagued with fear. Our past experiences had taken that away from us and taught us to be cautious in order to protect our hearts. -
And now we wait...
On Monday, I woke at midnight to go to the toilet and noticed my underwear was wet. I just thought I was sweating (eww, I know) or had a little light bladder leakage (yes, it's real) but when I peed, the toilet bowl filled with bright blood. At that moment, everything just stopped. I've felt this feeling too many times but I still can't describe it - everything literally comes crashing down & there's nothing left but numbness...
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